When I first read Shakespeare, I thought “how did people find LONGER ways to talk to each other?!?!”
Now that I’ve read more than a few of his works – along with other works of that time – I’ve come to appreciate the language and definitely feel that certain things about the language should start being used again – Starting with these.
1. Away you three-inch fool!
This sentence is a vicious attack on a man’s confidence and in modern times it’d sound something like “Get out of my sight you tiny penis having chump!” Words can hurt. Sticks and stones will break your bones but an itty-bitty penis comment will eat away at you like cancer. If you’re looking to land a devastating blow, this is your balled up, brass knuckle decorated fist.
2. I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.
How cold blooded would it be to tell a friend to settle for whatever they can get. This is the same as saying “No offense, but you should probably date anyone who is interested because you’re not exactly a catch.” Ouch, you may as well save some syllables and say “Beggars can’t be choosers, ugly.”
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