I spend way too much time running away from my problems. It’s the “easy way out” – it’s called that for a reason, right?
Heck, I spend so much time running from my problems that half the time, I’m not even aware of which one/s I’m running away from.
I hate falling into self-pity, I think it’s a cop-out; it’s way too easy to go for instead of confront the real problem: ME!
It’s apparently a good thing for one to be introspective; my issue’s that that introspection ends at identifying the problem.
See, after identification, one should seek understanding; then a method one can apply to solve the problem; then – what I feel is the most important bit – take the necessary action to solve the problem.
See, even when I go through the first three processes, I find myself being eluded by that last part.
Am I weak-willed (my want for a better term should be obvious); lacking in discipline (kind of the same thing but worthy of mention nonetheless) or do I just really not want to change?
There are very few things that one can make me do without my entire consent, so that rules the first two options (which were really just the same thing worded differently) out.
So I suppose it must be the last option. . . I’m not really willing to accept that; my lack of acceptance, however, doesn’t seem to be enough motivation to keep it from being true.
My weak-willed “nature” (I don’t believe in “human nature”. . . But we’ll discuss that in another piece) makes this paradoxical because if it were strong enough, my accepting of my not wanting to change would be easier; but so would be my will to take action in the aforementioned process.
I’m confused, but I seek neither help nor judgement – I do, however, welcome opinion. . . Hell, even if you judge, it changes nothing because this piece has only two purposes:
1. To make sure I’m still writing.
2. To start the first step of the process I mentioned.
I hope you can identify with me (see what I did there?)
I know the previous paragraph served as what should have been my introduction, but that’d be going back to a structured style of writing and as we’ve already discussed, keeping things about myself the same is NOT one of my problems.
May the light in all things be with you.